Why the Blog?
In 2006, my partner and I began a journey to become parents together, bringing us to where we are today: gay fathers to a set of pretty amazing twins…one boy, one girl, gaybies, as some call them.
Why the blog? Like any parents, we have been taking lots of pictures of our kids, and before our twins could talk, pictures often captured the bulk of what was going on at any given time, sometimes even better than a movie did or might have done. Don’t get me wrong, we did take some videos of them, but a still image can so beautifully depict the essence of the moment. In any case, once the kids started talking, my view changed. I realized that while pictures were still capturing what they could, they could not possibly record what the kids were saying. And the kids were saying such fun, crazy, endearing stuff. This sense that pictures weren’t quite doing the job only grew as the kids did. I needed to write down what they were saying, how they were saying it, and I could not (or did not want) to carry a recorder around with me everywhere. So, I started journaling in various forms, in short because while a picture is worth a thousand words, so are a thousand words.
Also, my own earliest memories kick in at around five years old. After becoming a father myself, I have realized how much fun and interesting stuff happens before that age, especially as the twins learn to talk, think, laugh, and develop voices of their own. It is hilarious to see how they try to mimic what they hear around them, passing it through their own unique filters. As an example, when my sister had her first child, Amy, and Amy started to speak, I remember being fascinated with her invention and use of the word “thenother.” The combination of “an” and “other” naturally collapses to “another” (“Mom, can I have an other orange” becomes “Mom, can I have another orange?”). So, Amy put the “n” sound between “the” and “other”: “No, Mom, I want thenother orange.” It’s so long ago that I can’t remember any particular instance of her use of this word, but I thought it was cute, logical, basic, fun. If I invented and used words of my own like that or had other interesting experiences before I started school, while I was developing my own voice, much of it is now lost to me. I certainly would not remember any of it, and I am not sure that my surviving parent, siblings, or other relatives would remember much either. I do not want that to be true for Cory and Fisher. This site attempts to capture for them their own images and voices — as events unfold — so that they do not have to rely on my or Darin’s memories later in life…or their own memories thereafter when we are not here for them.
Great, but no, really, why a blog, though? You could journal away and just give it all to your kids privately… Well, okay, sure. But, I am not that disciplined about journaling, unless I am sharing it with someone real time, and as I started posting some of my entries on social media, some people really enjoyed reading them. In particular, someone reading some of my posts recently called me “Erma” in reference to Erma Bombeck. I took that to be a positive thing. She was a columnist, who for some reason makes me think of my own mother, warmly. I do not really recall reading that much of her work or her reports on television, but I remember that my Mom liked her, and that makes me like her and take the reference as a compliment. So, maybe one or two others will enjoy following the twins’ plentiful ups and (hopefully) rare downs via this little blog.
But, in the end, the material is for Fisher and Cory. Hopefully, the vignettes will help add meat to the bones of the pictures that we have taken of them, giving them a fuller sense of what our introduction to them has been like, as well as what their introduction to the world has been like.