Polar Morning Treatment
Daddy’s Salon (“salon” pronounced with a cartoonish French accent, of course) generally offers morning hours only when Papa’s in London. One day the staff in the salon leaves the “wipe ‘n’ dipes” out in the 56-degree living room, far from the twins’ overnight space heater…
D (greeting Cory for the first time that morning, in obsequious, spa personnel voice): Oh, Miss Cory, it is so nice to see you again! Welcome back to Daddy’s Morning Salon!
D: And, how are you doing this morning, Miss Cory?
C (faux shy, smiling, Fisher also smiling, looking on from behind her): Good.
D (gesturing toward the leather couch and patting the pillow placed on it): Oh, Miss Cory, I’m sure it will brighten your morning considerably if we were to relieve you of that wet diaper. So clammy. Might I offer you our changing services again today?
C (Fisher laughing): Yes.
D (helping Cory to lie down on the couch and pillow): Here, you go, Miss Cory. Did you have nice dreams last night? You do look well rested, if a little groggy today.
C: Daddy, the couch is cold.
D: Oh, so sorry, Ms. Cory. (Maneuvering a blanket between her and the cold leather.) Is that better? I want you comfortable for something new that I would like to introduce you to. (Taking off diaper and jammie bottoms.) Our technicians have developed the perfect, let’s say…polar…experience for those slow mornings, you know, when you need just that extra jolt.
Cory smiles at goofy-voiced, gesturing Daddy.
D: Now, see these wipe ‘n’ dipes? Well, I just brought these from outside, where they got as cold as that frost on the ground. Oh, the greeting they provide to your morning. Well, you really just have to experience it…truly bracing!
C (laughing, wriggling): No!
D: Oh, yes, fresh from the wintry outdoors, these wipe ‘n’ dipes are guaranteed to clarify quite a few things for you, right quick, provide a sharp separation between night and day, as it were.
C (laughing, wriggling, Fisher’s smile widening): No!
D (wiping her undercarriage, Fisher laughing, Cory wriggling and belly-laughing): Oh, Miss Cory, it’s clear you do enjoy our Polar Morning. Packs quite a wallop, doesn’t it? Starts your day with just the right umph!
F: Daddy, my turn, my turn! Do me!
D (working Cory’s clothes on while she laughs): Oh, Mr. Fisher, I didn’t see you there…I’ll be right with you…I am with a client, you know, so sorry, a bit under-staffed this morning. Have I mentioned a new treatment we have here in the Morning Salon?
F: Do it to me!
Since then (and somewhat weirdly), clients of Daddy’s Morning Salon can be somewhat surly when “Polar Morning” isn’t offered, which happens mainly because the wipe ‘n’ dipes weren’t prepped to the right temperature by an evening staff that can be a touch lazy sometimes…