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“Greasy” Hair

Look at her, does there have to be…something more than what they see
Wholesome and sweet, so young and complete…her daddies’ Cory Bee…

C: Daddy, why does Sandy change her hair like that?
D: Well, she thinks she needs to change.
C: Why?
D: Well, it’s complicated. She has been so good and has been so hard on Danny the whole movie for being a boy and…(pause)…you know what, Cory?
C: What, Daddy?
D (switching gears): Sandy just wanted to be crazy and have fun for one day. It was the last day of school, and she just wanted to let go and have fun for that day.
C: Oh. I don’t like her hair like that, Daddy. And, she is smoking. That’s not good, right, Daddy?
D: Right. That’s what I mean. Do you think Sandy really likes to smoke?
C: No?
D: No. Her friends have to tell her what to do with the cigarette. They have to tell her to throw it down because she doesn’t really know what to do with it. She’s just pretending to smoke.
C: Yah, she doesn’t like to smoke, right? It is good that she just throws that cigur down in the dirt and steps on it. Smoking is esgusting.
D: *Dis*-gusting. Yes, it is.
C: And she dresses in all that black, a black shirt and those black…bottoms. I don’t like that either.
D: Well, it’s the last day of school, and it’s a carnival. She wanted to dress crazy, all in black, and she wanted to pretend to smoke, and she wanted to dance so super fun, and…
C: And wear her hair all crazy, too?
D: Yup. She’s just having fun being crazy for a day.
C: Like Halloween?
D (considering…): Yup, kind of like Halloween.
C: Oh. Halloween is fun.

A few days later, Daddy downloads pictures from the camera, which he has indicated to the babysitter that she should feel free to use.

Um…huh.

Totally fine. No bigs. It’s just trading cute bows and ponytails for hair teased Texas big. For one day. Pshhhaw. Nothing. It’s not like she’s dressed, or will dress, any time soon, as in, not within the next fifteen, twenty years, in skin-tight black leather pants. Puh-lease. Harmless fun. She doesn’t even have hips to pop. And, cigurs are definitely esgusting. Smoking kills. Cigurs’ll stay esgusting. She hates them. Forever. Solid. So silly to draw connections that just aren’t there, right?

Chills. (Not those kind.) And they’re multiplyin’. Next time they’re trolling NetFlix, Daddy’s gonna grease the wheels toward Spiderman and My Little Ponies. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. Much more wholesome than the Pink Ladies…

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