Harry Potter and the Ginger Credentials
Daddy holds both of their hands walking home from school.
D: And, what’s the girl’s name? The girl who comes on the train to talk to Harry and Ron?
F: I don’t know.
D: That’s close. Something Granger…?
F: Hermine Granger!
D (swinging their arms): That’s right, Fisher Bug! Hermione Granger. Nice teamwork. That’s a fun name, isn’t it? Hermione Granger?
C: I don’t like it.
D: You don’t!? I thought maybe we’d name our next dog Hermione. Do you want to?
F/C (laughing): No!
D: Well, what about Granger? “Here, Granger! Come here, Granger!”
D: And, what are the twins names? The redheaded boy twins, Ron’s older brothers?
F (deploying his usual filler): Um…what did you say, Daddy?
D: The funny redheaded twins, Fred and…oh! Shoot, I just…
C (laughing): Fred!
D (laughing with her): What’s the other one’s name?
C: Um…give us a hint.
D: Okay. What’s Leila’s daddy’s name?
F/C: Mister George!
D: That’s right. Good job, guys!
F: Daddy, what color hair does eh, er, uh Ron have?
D: He has red hair. Like his older brothers.
C: And like me!
D: That’s right, Cory. And, like me.
F: Daddy, what did you say?
D: Ron has red hair like Cory and like me.
F (confused): Daddy, you don’t have red hair!
C: Yah, Daddy, you don’t have red hair!
D: What?! I do, too.
F (laughing and using vocabulary from Jake and the Neverland Pirates): No, you don’t! Daddy, you are a scalawag!
D (letting his hand go to tickle him): I do too have red hair. Been a redhead my whole life, you silly goose!
C: Daddy, you don’t have red hair like mine, right?
D: I had redder hair than you do, Cory, when I was your age!
F/C: You did?!
C: Nuh uh.
F: You are just being silly, Daddy.
Back at home, Daddy produces photographic evidence, to big, surprised smiles. As a lifelong redhead, often unhappy about that fact when younger, it feels so odd to have to burnish one’s ginger credentials. Pigs must be flying’…