Doing It or Getting Caught
Papa in San Diego, the twins decide that what a weekend needs is near-constant bickering. On Sunday night, during “lay down two minutes,” just before bed…
D: Fisher, what is something that you liked about the weekend?
F: Um, I liked riding the roller coaster with you, Daddy, and I liked the Crooked House, and I saw bees in the zoo part, too. A lotta bit of bees.
D: Yah, there were a lot of bees buzzing in that hive, huh? Cory, what is something that you liked about the weekend?
C: I liked swimming lessons with Miss Christine. I wish I could have swimming lessons every day.
D: Did you like anything else?
C: And I liked riding on the ladybugs at Happy Hollow with Auntie Ann-nuh.
D: Well, you didn’t ride the ladybugs with Auntie Ann-nuh, silly. You rode them with Fisher. What didn’t you like about the weekend, Fisher?
F: I didn’t like that we didn’t do the Slip ‘n’ Slide, and I didn’t like when I ran across the parking lot without my Daddy. That was very bad, right, Daddy?
F: Because iffin a car er, eh, uh, would hit me, then I would have to go to the hospital, and I would cry a lot at the hospital.
D: That’s right.
F: But, you don’t cry a lot when you are dead, right, Daddy?
D (um…?): I don’t know, Fisher. That question’s a bit deep. Cory, what didn’t you like about the weekend?
C: I didn’t like when you put me in time-out.
D (after waiting to see if she acknowledges the reasons for the time-out): Why did you have to go in time-out, Cory?
C: I just didn’t like when you put me in time-out.
D: But, why did you have to go in time-out.
Silence. That difference — his not liking the act that he acknowledges got him in a bit of hot water and her not acknowledging any such act and just not liking the hot water — about sums up where they are right now…at least in terms of crime and punishment.