D: Did you guys get to swim more yesterday at the Y?
C: Yes, but we only got to go in the baby pool.
F (serious tone): Yah, and babies pee in that pool.
D (laughing): They do? Are you sure? How do you know?
F: Babies go in there, and babies don’t know. They just don’t know. So, they go pee in there.
C: I got to do head bobs…
D: And people could go under water and open their mouths and get baby pee in their mouths.
C: …and kicks and my teacher got in the pool so…
F: I went under water and came back up and I had some eh, er, uh water in my mouth, so…
C: …I could swim more.
F: I got baby pee in my mouth, Daddy!
D: Well, they put chemicals in the pool to keep it as clean and safe as possible.
F (horrified, associating cleaning chemicals with the bottles in the house they are not to touch): They put chemicals in there!?
D: Yes, and…
F: Do I get those er, uh, eh chemicals in my mouth with the baby pee?!
D: Well, I suppose yes, but…
F: I don’t like that, Daddy.
D: But, there is so much water in the pool and so many good chemicals in there, that it is okay to swim.
F: Are you sure?
C: Dolphins go pee in the ocean.
F: Is that right, Daddy?
D: Yes. They go pee in there, and so do whales and sharks.
C: And fish. And they go poo, too.
F: Ew! They just pee and poo in the ocean?
C: Uh huh, because they don’t know. They don’t just have a bathroom or something.
D: Guys, think about all the water in the ocean, though, there is so much water in the ocean…
F: Is there infinity water in the ocean?
D: Well, no, not infinity because that would mean that it goes on forever, but there’s still a lot. And dolphin pee is just a teeny tiny bit of the whole ocean.
F: Can people see shark poo in the ocean?
D: Theoretically, yes, but practically no because…
F: What does that mean?
D: Well, like I said, there is SO much ocean and so little shark poo that it doesn’t even matter.
C: Are shark babies bigger than…um…uh…babies?
D: Than human babies?
D: Yes. Actually, no. It depends on how big the sharks are when they are bigger. Actually, I don’t know, generally whether when most sharks come out, they are bigger than…
F: Do shark babies swim in their own pool?
D: What? No, shark babies just…
C: So, they are smaller than people babies?
D (getting exasperated): No, I said that it depends on…
F: But, you said that sharks go poo AND pee in the ocean, so don’t they just go pee in there?
C: Does it depend on whether the shark baby is a boy baby or girl baby?
D (pulling into camp parking lot): Guys! Guys…
F: Well, you said! You said that sharks go pee right eh, er, uh in the ocean. You said it, Daddy. (With ‘tude.) So…what!? What, Daddy? What?
D: We’re here! Grab your backpacks.
F: What, Daddy? Does that mean that baby sharks just get their pee in their own mouths?
Daddy pushes the two through de-carring and arrival procedures. Almost in the camp quarters…
C: Daddy, does that mean that all shark babies are girl babies since girls are smaller than boys?
D (smiling at another parent and thinking “Did I miss something?”): That’s a good question, Cory. Can you remember to ask me that one again today after camp?
D: And, we’ll puzzle it through then, okay?
C: Okay, Daddy.
Papa was the one to pick them up from camp. No further word on baby pee in baby pools, shark pee in baby shark mouths, or the shark-human size-sex tangle.