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Fisher Bug, Cannibal Witch-Bird Warrior

The holiday brings out Fisher Bug, the Cannibal Witch-Bird Warrior.

On Easter morning, Papa places colored hard-boiled eggs throughout the back yard. Given a definite lack of foliage, the kids can see the eggs “hidden” out there from the house. At some point later in the morning, Fisher notices the cannibal’s handiwork…

F (alarmed):  Daddy, look!  Look, Daddy!
D (coming into the room):   What?
F (continued excitement):  That bird is eating the eggs!
C (pointing to a big, black crow in the back yard):  He’s eating the eggs, Daddy!
D:  That’s odd, guys.  Birds don’t normally eat other birds eggs.
F:  What you say, Daddy?
D:  The eggs Papa put out are chicken’s eggs, and chickens are birds, right?  Well, other birds, like that crow, don’t normally eat other birds’…(gasp)…
C:  What?
F:  Zagrimor!  That bird is Zagrimor, Daddy!  Where is my wand?  I am going to go clap him with my wand!
C:  Me, too!

Daddy, amazed that the crows continue to hit their cues, watches as F and C tear out into the back yard, waving wands and yelling “Zagri-less!” and “Zagri-zero!”

 

The Broom Graveyard

It is Fisher who discovers the Broom Graveyard, on a walk, before school…

F (pointing):  Daddy, look!
D:  What’s that, Fisher?
F:  That looks like a broom that, er, uh, that, uh, er, a witch was riding!
D (stopping the stroller to size it up):  Oh, Fisher, you might be right.  It looks like the witch’s broom ran out of juice when the witch was flying right overhead here.
C (pointing to several other palm fronds draped in the lower trees around):  Look!  More brooms!
D:  This must be where the witches leave their brooms when they are done, guys.  Do you want me to get one for you?
C/F:  NO!
D (surprised):  Why not?
C:  Because her magic will still be in it, Daddy!
D (wondering where that came from):  Oh, good point, Cory, you may be right.  Each broom might still remember its witch.

Pushing the stroller further along under the same trees, Daddy sees a palm frond lying on the ground and picks it up, using it to touch C and F lightly on the heads from behind.

C/F (laughing in mock terror):  NO, Daddy!  NO!
D (continuing to touch them):  Oo, oo, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!
C (laughing and getting out of stroller to escape):  No, Daddy!
F:  No, Daddy, STOP!  That witch of that broom will remember me!

The spot on our walk route is now known as the Broom Graveyard, haunted, dangerous, and fun…

Under the Bunny Costume

C:  Daddy, is the Easter bunny a rabbit?
D:  Yes, of course, you silly goose!
C:  But, what does the Easter bunny wear under his costume?
D (ignoring the use of “costume”):  How do you know the Easter bunny is a boy?
C:  I saw his tide.

D:  His tide?
C:  His tied thing.  Like Fisher has.  From the leprechaun.  His green tied thing.
D:  You mean Fisher’s green bow tie?
C:  His sparkly one, from the leprechaun.  I saw the Easter bunny’s bow tie, under his costume.
D:  No, Cory, the Easter bunny’s tie was yellow, and he was wearing it around his neck.

Pause.

C:  But, Daddy, I saw his skin.
D:  Well, everyone has skin, right?
C:  But, I saw his skin under his costume.
D (again with the “costume”):  Well, even the dogs each have skin under their fur, right?

Pause.

C:  But, Daddy, you told him to go to the garage.  I saw you.
D:  I did?
C (apparently having seen Papa drive over to friend’s house for second star turn):  Yes, after he drove your car.
D (thinking “oh, it’s like that”):  Well…
C:  Bunnies can’t drive, can they Daddy?
D (warning, warning, warning):  Well, the Easter bunny apparently can.

Pause…Daddy thinking “jig’s up, here it comes, Santa sounded like Uncle Glenn, Easter Bunny drove a car, steel yourself”…

C:  Daddy, what does “parently” mean?

An abstract adverb distracts a child and saves the day…but we may only be able to wring a couple more years of costumed fun out of these two…

Easter Favorites

Daddy asks the exhausted twins on Sunday night, what the best part about their Easter holiday was…

F: I liked when the Easter bunny brought me shoes and a spinning thing (battery-powered Spiderman hand fan). The new shoes are a little bit big for me, so I am going to sleep so good tonight so I can get bigger so that they can fit me in the morning.

C: My best part was when I found the candy in the egg from the egg hunt. That candy was gum. I didn’t like it when it was a ball, but I chewed it, and it turned to gum! I like gum.